Constant State of Rushing

It seems like productivity has become the most valued thing in society and in our daily lives. We always have to look like we're keeping busy and cram our schedules with stuff that either needs to get done or just because we're so used to constantly doing something. Maximizing our time has become a big issue of not being able to live in the present by always looking towards what's next on the agenda.

I'm not one to judge though. I do have a problem with rushing through my life. It goes hand in hand with growing up in an anxious environment of making ends meet, moving from house to house without much stability, and tip-toeing around my dad who was impatient, irritable and expected responses to his calls and questions immediately. You were supposed to read his mind and have an answer ready.

In addition, being "responsible" was the number one priority in my family. If there's a problem, fix it. If something needs to get done, do it immediately with urgency. If you delay, you’re lazy and careless.  There was no notion of moving at your own pace and taking your time. 

That way of living infused into how I live my life. I’m always rushing to get things done, and rushing others to match my speed. The longer something stays unresolved, the more anxious I become. Part of it concerns what other people think of me and caring about their opinions on whether or not I'm actively and efficiently addressing outstanding tasks. This brings me to the ways rushing impacts my life.

At work, when tasks come in, I feel like I need to tackle them right then and there. The rushing increases the likelihood that some finer (or massive) details are missed. As they say, when you rush, you can cause a bigger mess later that takes a lot longer to fix. It also comes across as though you don't care about your work if you're not giving each task the attention it deserves.

It's clear that I stress myself out when I'm trying to get things done as quickly as possible, but when it involves other people, I tend to nag and become irritable about their lack of urgency. If it takes too long, it can feel as though they just don't want to pull their weight and help.

Rushing also causes me to walk fast and keep a shallow breath throughout most of the day, completely unaware of how my preoccupations are affecting my physical, let alone mental, state. If my kid is with me, it’s hard for him to keep up. If I’m with my partner, I push to get out of the house and tackle our checklist for the day. Once, when we were on a walk to the grocery store, I noticed I was way ahead of him on the sidewalk. I waited for him to catch up to me and asked, “why are you going so slow?”

He said, “a man must walk at his own pace.”

At first, I laughed because I wasn't expecting to hear those philosophical words come out of his mouth. I found it silly in the moment, but then it started to sink in for me. There is wisdom in that statement. Why rush yourself for the world? Not only do you miss details in work, but you miss out on your life. A lot of times, I ignore how I’m making myself feel when rushing. I’m laser focused on the goal, not the process, and don’t even consider what I’m putting myself through. 

In a timely coincidence, I came across a couple outlets regarding rushing.

The first one is Jay Shetty's 7-minute meditation on the Calm app, simply titled "Don't Rush."

Shetty discusses how we it's important to not overbook ourselves so that we can be intentional in our tasks that need to take priority so that they're done right. If we schedule one activity after another, something could go wrong and cause a chain reaction in delays for the next thing on our list. Not only does this stress us out, but it can cause us to take it out on others. He clarifies that what we need to schedule is extra free time to help manage our anxiety. We need to do less and space out our action items over multiple days so that we can take the time to think accurately and regulate ourselves. We're so focused on getting things done quickly that it destroys not only the quality of our performance, but the quality of our lives.

Sometimes we're in such a state of rushing and focusing on getting from point A to B that we can't even spend quality time and be present with the people we love. We clearly don't want to rush through those important moments, yet we still do.

He highlights the below quote by Ghandi:

"There is more to life than increasing it's speed."

This really woke me up to how I've been treating life. Sometimes, I feel like a cog in a machine that keeps going without question. I've recently found myself asking if life is moving faster as I get older because I'm moving faster and have more on my plate. The most important thing we can give to people is our time and attention. Each request, each project, each meeting, each question, each time you have a second with your loved ones deserve it. You deserve it too.

Here is a poem I came across by Rumi that I happened to stumble on as I was contemplating this theme:

"...four other characteristics keep you from loving... The rooster of lust, the peacock of wanting to be famous, the crow of ownership, and the duck of urgency... There is a duck inside you. Her bill is never still, searching through dry

and wet alike, like the robber in an empty house

cramming objects in his sack, pearls, chickpeas,

anything. Always thinking, "There's no time!

I won't get another chance!

A True Person is more calm and deliberate.

He or she doesn't worry about interruptions.

But that duck is so afraid of missing out

that it's lot all generosity..."

-Rumi

We cannot be generous with our time and love the things in our lives fully if we cannot slow down and take everything in. So I invite you to find your own pace - what does the whole picture consist of, have you seen each detail, do you completely understand and experience what is right in front of you? Consider these questions to find a more authentic way to move through your world and all the areas that it encompasses.

Life isn't supposed to be filled with chores, let alone feel like one.

Take care,

Teddi

(Owner/Contributor)